Have you ever wondered...

...what goes on in our house 2 minutes before you knock on the door? If you have (or even if you're just curious), take a peek below:

1. Car pulls in driveway

2. Household is alerted loudly by alert family members within nanoseconds

3. Half the family members rush upstairs in panic

4. Half the remaining family runs to windows on the driveway side of house, while other remaining half stays in kitchen/living room area to act as spies

5. Everyone starts yelling "Who is it? Who is it??"

6. Astute member a) recognizes car and fills everyone in or b) doesn't know, and this heightens the suspense

7. Car finally parks.

8. Everyone is glued to a window, ready to duck should the visitor glance up at the windows. (It is incredibly frustrating to be covertly watching someone, especially from the bathroom window, only to have them glance casually upwards and give a cheery smile and wave.)

10. Person finally gets out of vehicle. If the visitor(s) are recognized, there is a mad rush to the door. If the visitor(s) are not recognized the people downstairs rush madly upstairs, leaving a hapless parent or unaware child to answer the door

11. As visitor walks to door, s/he is scrutinized by at least 8 pairs of eyes

12. As parent talks to stranger, curiosity overcomes several members, who creep shamefacedly downstairs and eavesdrop until satisfied that a) the stranger is not a menace or b) the stranger does not concern them, and they can go on with their life, as long as they can safely keep several square miles between themselves and said stranger to avoid detection

13. Stranger finishes conversation with parent (and greater unseen audience) and leaves. 8 pairs of eyes watch him/her go.

14. Life returns to normal.

Stay tuned for the next edition: "Have you ever wondered what happens when the phone rings?!"