We interrupt the blogflow of our historical perusal of the past few weeks/months to bring you this special edition to help you through the pre-Christmas Christmas preparations. This post is designed to act as a guide as you go through these steps, or to help you feel better about yourself as you read my steps and realize how close you are to the ideal set forth here. We shall begin.
The Christmas Tree: Preferably evergreen, this member of the Pinophyta kingdom is either bought from Walmart, bought from a tree dealer, or selected from ground plots that may or may not belong to the individual in question. Selection for the latter two categories rests primarily on answers to the following three factors: how far away the car is, how many individuals getting the tree are under the age of 10, and how cold it is. This may result in the acquiring of a tree that makes Charlie Brown's tree look like the White House Christmas tree by comparison.
Decorations: Once the tree has been brought in and placed in an upright position somewhere within the individual's home, it must be decorated. Decorations must be large enough to be visible, but not too crowded to cover the tree completely. The National Authority for Christmas Tree Decoration advises that no more than 3/4 of the tree be obscured by the decorations. Any more than that and you run the risk of obliterating the tree, spokesman Christopher Pringle stated. The NACTD also warns against placing open flames or bare electrical wires on the tree as fires could result, inconveniencing firefighters everywhere.
Many people also place figurines and lights in strategic areas of the outside of their home. Outside decor primarily depends on the distance between one's house and one's neighbors, and also the energy which said neighbors devote to decorating their house. This guide does not recommend using plastic inflatable decorations, as they typically deflate 43 seconds after being set up. However, this guide also realizes that in neighborhoods populated primarily with inflatable-plastic-decorating types, usage of these items cannot be avoided.
The indoor decorations can be a little more individualistic, but must still be in proportion to the amount of traffic that the home expects to see during the time the decorations are expected to be up. Many find it effective to set boxes of decorations on the kitchen table and turn the children loose. If anything, the result can be passed off lightly as "just what the kids did! haha, isn't it artistic?"
Gift Purchasing: Many gifts need to be purchased, as the spirit of Christmas is allegedly measured by the stack of presents under the tree. Lists need to be made, bank funds withdrawn, trips to Walmart made, and then...the wrapping.
Gift Wrapping: There are two categories in gift wrapping. We shall examine each in turn, beginning with Category A, which most males fit into. This group is prone to wrapping gifts in grocery bags, typically the same plastic bag that the cashier placed the gift into at the cash register. A knot is tied at the top, the name is written in permanent marker on the side, and the gift is pitched beneath the tree. Another typical wrapping method for this category is the plain cardboard box, sometimes tied shut with string.
The second category, Category B, is the group which most females fit into. This group wraps minute gifts with great precision and creativity. It has long been suspected that there is competing within the group to see who can wrap the oddest shaped package the neatest. Some members have the proficiency level of wrapping a 4 gallon size package in a piece of wrapping paper the size of a normal business envelope. A bow is attached to the top, the name is written on a matching gift tag, and the gift is arranged neatly under the tree. Please note that the categories are general; some girls find them in category A, and some guys would be more comfortable with a category B rating.
Preparation of Food: In some homes, planning for the Christmas Dinner Menu begins as early as April. The perfect meat, the coordinating side dishes, the incorporation of traditional and new food items, all these take much foresight and preparation. In most families, the female members take care of the making of the dishes, while in others, the father lets his culinary abilities shine forth. Although the majority of Christmas dinners are delectable treats, this guide would be remiss in not pointing out that even a major national holiday cannot transform a bad cook into a good cook. This guide advises caution if one suspects that one's host is one of the former.
Eating of Food: This guide would like to state that the male members of the family generally do this the best.
We conclude this short perusal of common Christmas preparations. We hope that this guide was helpful to you. Merry Christmas to all and sundry!
Friday, December 23, 2011
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Trip to PHC
[Note: this post was edited a couple hours after it was originally posted to include a photograph taken by my mom on Betsy Reich's camera!]
Whirlwind. That's what it felt like, going down last Tuesday to get Jess, and then coming back on Wednesday. In fact, I forgot about packing until Monday night after Awana, when it struck me that I was leaving in less than 12 hours and I needed to toss some stuff in a backpack and set my alarm.
Tuesday morning: we left at about 7:15. We drove to ShurFine and picked up our sub, activated Garmin, and drove off into the wild blue yonder. My mom drove for the first couple of hours, and then we switched places, stopped in Altoona PA for lunch, switched drivers, and then switched again when we fueled up again. The trip included Anaximander, my penguin pillow pet (hey, I just liked the name, ok?)...
Below, my mom and I confer on apparently very important details before driving off.
We arrived at about 3:30, and Jess was taking some trash to the dumpster, so we saw her right away. She took us around campus, meeting people and seeing various places like D5 (oh my. it's one of the two guys dorms, and there were actual guys inhabiting it that we, like, talked to. oh my.). It was so cool to see all these people that we've heard about but haven't met, since a lot of them weren't on campus when we dropped her off for freshman orientation. Anyhow, after that, we walked to a little coffee shop that is frequented by PHC-ers, and then headed back after consuming our beverages.
As we were walking back, we received news that one of the people we had met (see sentence 2 in above paragraph) had invited us and one of Jess's roommates Callan (oh, and Betsy and Seth) were invited to his house at 8. So we had time to go jogging and eat supper. Then, Brady met us with a flashlight and escorted us to the house right off campus that he shares with like 3 other guys. We played a fun game called 4 On a Couch and drank some tea (my taste buds still have nightmares about that tea :P ). Then, several more people showed up and surprise! Brady announced that since Seth's birthday was in a few days, we were having a party! There was brownies and ice cream and hot cider to consume, pictures to be taken, and piano pieces to be played. And games. But, at this point it was about 10:15, and my mom, Annetta, and I were tired from being up for over 16 hours, so we went to our hotel.
Here is basically all of us, sitting oh so photogenically against a wall. Birthday boy Seth is the 7th from left. And yes, I was freezing cold and I wrapped myself in a random coat that was on the floor. Hopefully whoever owned it didn't mind!
Annetta poses with the mirror in our hotel room.
Wednesday morning we slept in, ate an awesome breakfast at the hotel. Then we drove to PHC. This is me with my bagel.
So we got there, and Jess had a work shift that she had to do before we could leave. I was able to go around with her (she was just getting trash from various offices), so I got to meet a lot of people and see how much trash they create. While we did that, Annetta and my mom walked around taking pictures.
The picture above is Lake Bob and the PHC gazebo. The amusing thing about this particular photo is that it's upside down. Cool reflection. The next 5 pictures are also ones that they took. I left out my mom's self portrait attempts...she can thank me later :P
And this is the running track that I almost died on. On my roughly 10 and a half minute mile. Yeah. I kinda fail at running so bad it's [hopefully] funny to other people. Go ahead and laugh...just don't let me catch you laughing or I'll stuff my sneaker in your mouth.
So then. Work shift finished, out processing was completed, and we left. After saying goodbye to about 57 people that we ran into :P We drove pretty much continuously, through rain and fog, till at last we arrived home. Well, at least to the church. Jess and I decided to take in choir practice, but then we got home. And then we commenced preparation for Matt and Arielle's wedding, but that's a post for another day!
Whirlwind. That's what it felt like, going down last Tuesday to get Jess, and then coming back on Wednesday. In fact, I forgot about packing until Monday night after Awana, when it struck me that I was leaving in less than 12 hours and I needed to toss some stuff in a backpack and set my alarm.
Tuesday morning: we left at about 7:15. We drove to ShurFine and picked up our sub, activated Garmin, and drove off into the wild blue yonder. My mom drove for the first couple of hours, and then we switched places, stopped in Altoona PA for lunch, switched drivers, and then switched again when we fueled up again. The trip included Anaximander, my penguin pillow pet (hey, I just liked the name, ok?)...
Below, my mom and I confer on apparently very important details before driving off.
We arrived at about 3:30, and Jess was taking some trash to the dumpster, so we saw her right away. She took us around campus, meeting people and seeing various places like D5 (oh my. it's one of the two guys dorms, and there were actual guys inhabiting it that we, like, talked to. oh my.). It was so cool to see all these people that we've heard about but haven't met, since a lot of them weren't on campus when we dropped her off for freshman orientation. Anyhow, after that, we walked to a little coffee shop that is frequented by PHC-ers, and then headed back after consuming our beverages.
As we were walking back, we received news that one of the people we had met (see sentence 2 in above paragraph) had invited us and one of Jess's roommates Callan (oh, and Betsy and Seth) were invited to his house at 8. So we had time to go jogging and eat supper. Then, Brady met us with a flashlight and escorted us to the house right off campus that he shares with like 3 other guys. We played a fun game called 4 On a Couch and drank some tea (my taste buds still have nightmares about that tea :P ). Then, several more people showed up and surprise! Brady announced that since Seth's birthday was in a few days, we were having a party! There was brownies and ice cream and hot cider to consume, pictures to be taken, and piano pieces to be played. And games. But, at this point it was about 10:15, and my mom, Annetta, and I were tired from being up for over 16 hours, so we went to our hotel.
Here is basically all of us, sitting oh so photogenically against a wall. Birthday boy Seth is the 7th from left. And yes, I was freezing cold and I wrapped myself in a random coat that was on the floor. Hopefully whoever owned it didn't mind!
Annetta poses with the mirror in our hotel room.
Wednesday morning we slept in, ate an awesome breakfast at the hotel. Then we drove to PHC. This is me with my bagel.
So we got there, and Jess had a work shift that she had to do before we could leave. I was able to go around with her (she was just getting trash from various offices), so I got to meet a lot of people and see how much trash they create. While we did that, Annetta and my mom walked around taking pictures.
The picture above is Lake Bob and the PHC gazebo. The amusing thing about this particular photo is that it's upside down. Cool reflection. The next 5 pictures are also ones that they took. I left out my mom's self portrait attempts...she can thank me later :P
And this is the running track that I almost died on. On my roughly 10 and a half minute mile. Yeah. I kinda fail at running so bad it's [hopefully] funny to other people. Go ahead and laugh...just don't let me catch you laughing or I'll stuff my sneaker in your mouth.
So then. Work shift finished, out processing was completed, and we left. After saying goodbye to about 57 people that we ran into :P We drove pretty much continuously, through rain and fog, till at last we arrived home. Well, at least to the church. Jess and I decided to take in choir practice, but then we got home. And then we commenced preparation for Matt and Arielle's wedding, but that's a post for another day!
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Niagara Falls Airshow
Remember that list I wrote a couple blog posts ago with all the blog posts I need to write? Well, this is the beginning of that list...I'm starting from the top and going down. Which means that we are going back in time...way, way back in ancient history to September. Something like the second weekend of September.
The Niagara Falls Air Reserve Station (NFARS from here on out, to save my fingers from getting arthritic or something, because you know that's something I totally worry about) hosted an airshow commemorating 9-11, and so CAP traveled from all around the group to help with parking, recruiting, and manning booths. Not to get ahead of myself here. Starting at the beginning, which I guess was Friday, Hosanna and I waited in the parking lot of Arby's for the CAP van to appear. We put our stuff out on the curb in full sight of all who passed and felt like vagabonds. Tent...sleeping bag, overnight stuff, camelbaks, the works.
The CAP van arrived, and we loaded all our stuff and ourselves in. And thus began Operation Airshow. We drove for several hours o'er hill and dale to a small, unspecified airport near NFARS where we were to bivouac for the next two nights. So we got near-ish to this little airport, and my squadron commander handed me her cell phone and told me to call this random senior member whose last name I wasn't even sure how to pronounce and tell him "the blue possum cries at dawn." I was like, huh? Actually, I had to tell him we were close to the airport so he could come show us where we were supposed to be.
So he met us there and led us to the back edge of the airport which had been specifically chosen as the bivouac site by virtue of its being the bumpiest area. Then we tracked down, captured, and sacrificed the blue possum and set up camp. Did I mention that this was in September? And that nights in September get chilly? It wasn't as cold as the bivouac in April when it rained all weekend, though...that time I slept in my coat, full BDUs (sans the boots) and as many layers as I had. [Some quick nostalgia for you there.] When CAP roughs it, we rough it, man. (*coughsnort*)
So tents went up, jackets went on, and we shoved off in search of nourishment. Some of them went to like Applebee's, but Clayton, Erik, Hosanna, and I went to Arby's. My food was super good. I even photographed it JUST for you to see.
I also photographed Erik and the Goliath of Curly Fries.
Then we went back to our tents and went to sleep (sleep being a general term here). Morning routine involved Hosanna and me getting up at...something like 5am, I believe, so that we would have time to walk all the way down to the hangar bathroom to get ready, and then leave for breakfast. We went to McDonald's on our way to the NFARS, and arrived there at around 0700.
We signed in at the base theater, filed in, and sat down. It was pretty cool being there, as that's the place where CLS graduation is held. It was much more relaxed this time. We even had a cricket chirping endlessly in the corner to keep our teeth on edge. Great times.
We had a safety briefing, and then we were split up. Those of us who were over 16 went out to do parking, while the younger cadetlets went to the actual airshow area and did stuff like recruiting and manning ice cream/lemonade booths.
I didn't take any pictures at the airshow with my camera, but these pictures are fairly indicative of parking. The first day, the Air Force sergeant in charge of my little group was named Sergeant Darling. I asked him if he was related to the Army Sergeant Darling at the NER Cadet Academy, but apparently not. I thought that was pretty cool.
This picture is us ancients heading out to wait around before we were split up into groups and sent off to our parking location. True story: I rode shotgun in a humvee. I had to tie my door shut with a piece of string. Actually, some nice AF dude tied it for me. ("RealMilitary: where the gentlemen tie your doors shut for you.")
We're so cool we're black and white :D
This is us waiting around, fixing our sleeves and adjusting the reflective vests. Officers are OCD when it comes to things like that. "Sir...your sleeve is a quarter inch lower in the left side than on the right side. Permission to adjust it for you so that I don't have nightmares tonight?" "Permission granted!!"
Just to give you an idea of the massive amounts of people: the next two pictures are two halves on a field. Note that you can only see part of the field...it extend to both sides of the photo (my lens isn't wide enough). Then realize that in roughly two hours, we parked about triple that. And then add in that there were several other parking lots closer to the airshow that were being parked simultaneously (they'd like send every three cars to us or something). There were a lot of people there.
How many cadet officers does it take to park a car? :)
Also, is it bad that I didn't notice that camo plane until I saw it this evening in the picture? Now that I see the plane, I think I know where we were... I had such a bad sense of direction that weekend it wasn't funny. I have yet to figure out the NFARS.
We left at noon on Sunday. I think this picture does a good job of summing up how we felt.
Oh yeah, there were some really noisy things zipping around in the sky, too. Thunderbirds and other random airplanes. Good times.
The End.
The Niagara Falls Air Reserve Station (NFARS from here on out, to save my fingers from getting arthritic or something, because you know that's something I totally worry about) hosted an airshow commemorating 9-11, and so CAP traveled from all around the group to help with parking, recruiting, and manning booths. Not to get ahead of myself here. Starting at the beginning, which I guess was Friday, Hosanna and I waited in the parking lot of Arby's for the CAP van to appear. We put our stuff out on the curb in full sight of all who passed and felt like vagabonds. Tent...sleeping bag, overnight stuff, camelbaks, the works.
The CAP van arrived, and we loaded all our stuff and ourselves in. And thus began Operation Airshow. We drove for several hours o'er hill and dale to a small, unspecified airport near NFARS where we were to bivouac for the next two nights. So we got near-ish to this little airport, and my squadron commander handed me her cell phone and told me to call this random senior member whose last name I wasn't even sure how to pronounce and tell him "the blue possum cries at dawn." I was like, huh? Actually, I had to tell him we were close to the airport so he could come show us where we were supposed to be.So he met us there and led us to the back edge of the airport which had been specifically chosen as the bivouac site by virtue of its being the bumpiest area. Then we tracked down, captured, and sacrificed the blue possum and set up camp. Did I mention that this was in September? And that nights in September get chilly? It wasn't as cold as the bivouac in April when it rained all weekend, though...that time I slept in my coat, full BDUs (sans the boots) and as many layers as I had. [Some quick nostalgia for you there.] When CAP roughs it, we rough it, man. (*coughsnort*)
So tents went up, jackets went on, and we shoved off in search of nourishment. Some of them went to like Applebee's, but Clayton, Erik, Hosanna, and I went to Arby's. My food was super good. I even photographed it JUST for you to see.
I also photographed Erik and the Goliath of Curly Fries. 
Then we went back to our tents and went to sleep (sleep being a general term here). Morning routine involved Hosanna and me getting up at...something like 5am, I believe, so that we would have time to walk all the way down to the hangar bathroom to get ready, and then leave for breakfast. We went to McDonald's on our way to the NFARS, and arrived there at around 0700.
We signed in at the base theater, filed in, and sat down. It was pretty cool being there, as that's the place where CLS graduation is held. It was much more relaxed this time. We even had a cricket chirping endlessly in the corner to keep our teeth on edge. Great times.
We had a safety briefing, and then we were split up. Those of us who were over 16 went out to do parking, while the younger cadetlets went to the actual airshow area and did stuff like recruiting and manning ice cream/lemonade booths.I didn't take any pictures at the airshow with my camera, but these pictures are fairly indicative of parking. The first day, the Air Force sergeant in charge of my little group was named Sergeant Darling. I asked him if he was related to the Army Sergeant Darling at the NER Cadet Academy, but apparently not. I thought that was pretty cool.
This picture is us ancients heading out to wait around before we were split up into groups and sent off to our parking location. True story: I rode shotgun in a humvee. I had to tie my door shut with a piece of string. Actually, some nice AF dude tied it for me. ("RealMilitary: where the gentlemen tie your doors shut for you.")
We're so cool we're black and white :D
This is us waiting around, fixing our sleeves and adjusting the reflective vests. Officers are OCD when it comes to things like that. "Sir...your sleeve is a quarter inch lower in the left side than on the right side. Permission to adjust it for you so that I don't have nightmares tonight?" "Permission granted!!"
Just to give you an idea of the massive amounts of people: the next two pictures are two halves on a field. Note that you can only see part of the field...it extend to both sides of the photo (my lens isn't wide enough). Then realize that in roughly two hours, we parked about triple that. And then add in that there were several other parking lots closer to the airshow that were being parked simultaneously (they'd like send every three cars to us or something). There were a lot of people there.
How many cadet officers does it take to park a car? :)
Also, is it bad that I didn't notice that camo plane until I saw it this evening in the picture? Now that I see the plane, I think I know where we were... I had such a bad sense of direction that weekend it wasn't funny. I have yet to figure out the NFARS.
We left at noon on Sunday. I think this picture does a good job of summing up how we felt.
Oh yeah, there were some really noisy things zipping around in the sky, too. Thunderbirds and other random airplanes. Good times.The End.
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