So I'm sitting in the Gilette main lounge, watching Dr. Who with Carina, Kaitlyn, Evan, Nathaniel, and Tyler (Jensyn and Cede are nearby working on something else)...and I'm working on a paper for my Fitness for Life class. Evan hijacked my computer, as he is wont to do, and I thought I'd post the essay he wrote. I wrote the first sentence...the rest is all Evan. :P do enjoy.
Erika Snell
Mr. Trini Rangel
Fitness For Life
30 Sept 2013
“10
Things You Need to Know About Dieting” Response Paper
Dieting
is a hot topic these days. Hi, I am Erica.
You should give me an A because I am a watermelon! If you don’t, I will slaughter you and all of
your loved ones!! ;)
In
order to slightly diffuse any retaliation from this revelation, I will probably
blame it on Evan when I turn it in, who is a handsome rogue if there ever was
one.
Anyway,
dieting. If you diet enough, you
disappear! It’s called dying and
decomposing. It might take a while, but,
in perspective of all of history, it’s only a second! Or a millisecond! I dunno.
That requires some suggestion of mathematical skill, which I do not
possess. In fact, when it comes to math,
I drool! Square roots reduce me to
gibbering! It’s a great party trick.
I
was once a piñata. That was fun! My head is lopsided, now. Also, there is no more candy in my
stomach! Sadness :’(.
By
the way, Mr. Professor Man. Be afraid!
We are not alone. Not even when
you are alone. You may think you’re just
having a drink by yourself, but – ha! – joke’s on you; you haven’t checked the
closet. And even if you did, don’t you
think he would be smart enough to scramble up to the ceiling? Like a cockroach? And stare down at you?
Then,
of course, the police find your remains spread over the lawn the next
morning. Then you diet extremely
quickly! You don’t even have to starve
to death first.
The End
4 comments:
Oh my! Let me guess, you are not going to turn this in? haha :)
blink....
blink....
blink..blink..blink
I never knew that you took dieting to such lethal levels. (ALthough, I do share some of his sentiments in a slightly less homicidal way.)
I do hope this extremely entertaining person is on the list of people you had in mind when you said you would introduce me to 'the friends'... :D
Ha! This made me cry. Good job Evan. I would give you an A for imagination... but an F- for the assignment. Good day to you. (Now I must go for a run...)
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